Let neither us deluded be with dreame or phantasy
Question of the day: Are stories bad for you?
Well, kind of.
It has recently really dawned on me how much of my waking time is spent considering fictional characters. It has always been a part of my life…watch my dog being silly and ponder what Nighteyes would think, and the like. But of late it has been occupying an impressive proportion of my thought processes, thanks in no small measure to that Whedon guy and a certain JK Rowling. (Curiously I did not find myself lying awake at night stressing over Nevare’s future.)
So part one of today’s enquiry is whether it is detrimental to spend so much of your life in a fictional bubble. I could never ever join the camp that holds that all fiction is useless (the Yay Biography camp?), but I do wonder…would I be somehow ‘better’ if I spent more of my life thinking about real people?
And part two is a question close to all our hearts: are imaginary friends bad for you?
…again, kind of.
I love the fact that I have got to know so many fantastic people through the internet. I love the Hobbling mail system (apologies Em, btw…a reply will materialise shortly, I promise…) and I have thoroughly enjoyed every meet I’ve attended. But, as recently demonstrated on here, I have now reached the point where the person I would describe as my best friend is someone I have actually met a grand total of 6 times. (I am hoping I counted correctly.) Again – I am not complaining! But I just…wonder.
I suspect the answer to both these questions is ‘everything in moderation.’ But…I would be interested to know whether the rest of you worry about this disconnect to the ‘real’ world sometimes too…
posted by skittledog @ 4:32 pm
17 comments
17 Comments:
I would start giving 'Real People' the same consideration that I reserve for fantasy characters:
- if Real people were as interesting
- if Real people would allow you to get to know them as much as you know the average Whedon character.
- if Real people lived interesting life involving supernatural occurences and copious amount of space travel
- if real people looked as good in leather pants as Crichton.
- if I knew any real people with interesting lifes
The last point also answers your second question: I am infinitely more interested in online people with different locations/backgrounds/attitudes than people who live lifes very similar to my own. Long live imaginary friends.
*cracks up*
Okay so I am a bit shocked at how we write 10 000 words a day including quotes... and how I get from home to work and then work to home without noticing the traffic at all because my mind is elsewhere... and how I only get pangs about not having RL friends once in a blue moon... and at how thinking about Crichton in leather trousers can make me so happy...
Sigh. Basically I wonder the same things. Is this healthy? What would my work be like if I put as much energy into it as I do the other things?
And also... 6 times?
Uh...I think I make 6. London signing, ceilidh, Zoo meet, random meeting up for coffee in London, Feb London meet, Abingdon. Am I forgetting anything?
And heehee biped. Great points all.
Just checking you were talking about me.
(Oh and I forgot the zoo... which is odd... huh.)
I wonder, occasionally. I think I've always been more emotionally attached to characters than to people. And maybe it's because it's so much easier to stay connected with them. I don't put anywhere near as much energy into maintaining relationships as I know I should.
But it's not as if I would start if I were let go of my fantasy worlds, it's just that then I'd have practically no one.
So... to sum up, maybe it's not so much my attachment to unreality that's unhealthy, as my apathy towards everything else. But it still doesn't worry me enough often enough to do anything about it.
How could you forget biped with conkers?
And hah, who else could I have been talking about?
daisy...hmm. Yes, I suspect that may be true of me too. If I dropped all books and all tv and all internet...ugh, what a horrible idea. What would I do?
Discover a cure for cancer or broker world peace?
...is fantasy escapism?
Oh I remembered biped with conkers. I just forgot you with UoD. Not sure why I was convinced you weren't there.
On the real versus virtual front... there are more virtual people than real so you can find the perfect match. And they gather in easy to get to places specific to their type to make finding them easier. In the Real World you could never meet and test as many people for compatibility.
I think that if I happened upon a Real World person that matched I would pay as much attention to him/her. Until they become inaccessible as all my Real World friends currently are. Virtual friends are never inaccessible.
Fictional characters versus the Real World... well, this is just about denial of responsibility for me. I think that if I ignore the Real World, it will just go away and I won't have to take risks. There are no risks in fiction because you can always halt an Imagining or take it back and replay it.
Whilst stirring paint Rian has come up with a Possible Answer.
'Phantasy' is a problem when it starts to hurt A) yourSelf or B) those about you.
Yes. I think Rian is right. Only a problem if it ends up hurting someone.
I worry occasionally about how easily I can get totally lost in another world. In the minds of characters that I only know in my imagination. I can reach the point where I'm totally experiencing their emotions... I've even ended up crying for feeling their pain. And I'm not even including reading books here. That's why I'd probably go mad if I couldn't write. I have to let them out somehow.
I had two close imaginary friends as a small child, and a few imaginary acquaintances. They were as real to me as my schoolfriends, and I still think about them occasionally, although I haven't seen them since I was about six.
I don't know where the line is, really. Who's to say that just because you only see something in your mind, it doesn't exist? What if we're all just figments of someone else's imagination?
Hmm. I fear I am taking this too seriously. Ahem. *looks around*
As for RL vs online friends, I don't think they even come into it. I hardly see my best friend in the world these days, as she lives abroad. She's still my best friend. I don't feel the need to interact more with other people to balance that. I suppose I see online friends the same way.
Okay... essay over.
*gets out of Skit's blog and seeks her own*
How can you judge what hurts people, though? Maybe, by staying in and reading Harry Potter, and emailing that oh-so-virtual friend, I am missing out on some other activity I could be doing, at which I would meet the love of my life (the one that isn't Johnny Depp). Therefore, by staying imaginary, I am hurting both of us. But on the other hand I could be missing sitting in a boring bar feeling depressed about life, instead of experiencing another world or laughing at an email - and the real world is hurting me more.
How can I tell?
You can't. Que sera sera
*sings*
Curses.
*glares at biped*
Johnny Depp?! What is this deep and dark secret you have kept from me?
I am pretty sure I am doing myself harm but that doesn't mean I can change my ways.
Heehee. Well at least he's not _quite_ as fictional as Angel...
Anyway you know I once discussed covering him in chocolate with two other imaginary friends. I know I told you that.
ha ha - I agree with Bob. I'm harming myself, but I won't stop.
There's lots of good "real life" things I could do, but I WANT to be lost in books. As for real life relationships - I try to find other people who are reading the same stuff to hang out with.
At least then we're in the same universe.
ha ha - I agree with Bob. I'm harming myself, but I won't stop.
There's lots of good "real life" things I could do, but I WANT to be lost in books. As for real life relationships - I try to find other people who are reading the same stuff to hang out with.
At least then we're in the same universe.
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